A MUST READ IF YOU ARE HAVING CHILDREN AT YOUR WEDDING

If you’re having children at your wedding but you’re not sure how much to entertain them, feed them, or generally do with them… you are not alone.

I’ve photographed many weddings with children, and at my own wedding we invited fifty kids (you can peek here: an Oxfordshire wedding festival).

So here are a few thoughts that may help.

children-at-your-wedding by philippajamesphotography

THE INVITE

Many weddings are now child-free. So if you are inviting children, make sure it’s clear on the invite.
Guests need to know before they RSVP.

THE WEDDING PARTY AND CHILDREN

If you’re having little ones in your bridal party, give them a bit of preparation. Walking down an aisle can give anyone jitters, so a quick practice in the garden helps them understand what will happen. If someone seems nervous, pair them with an older child for confidence.

And if one of them decides they’re not doing it on the day, just roll with it. A three-year-old who refuses is a three-year-old who refuses. When we got married, my youngest had a total meltdown right as we were about to walk down the aisle. Luckily, her nursery teacher scooped her up and kept her occupied. Crisis averted.

THE CEREMONY

Ceremonies are often the hardest part for children. They need to sit still and stay quiet, and honestly, they find it boring.

Parents will keep an eye on their own kids, so don’t stress about this too much. If you’re worried about crying babies, ask your celebrant to announce at the start that parents are welcome to step out if they need to. Sometimes people just need to know it’s allowed.

SOFT DRINKS + CANAPES

We all obsess over alcohol for a wedding, but don’t forget soft drinks for the children. Kids also get hangry faster than adults, so make sure there are snacks they’ll actually eat. If the canapés are a bit fancy, offer simple kid-friendly food too.
Sandwiches, sausage rolls, carrot sticks, cheese cubes, apple slices and breadsticks all work well.

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ENTERTAINMENT

Kids don’t always need entertainment. It depends on how many are coming and how old they are. But if you do want something, I’ve seen it all: bouncy castles, magic shows, a dedicated kids’ room, a science entertainer, and yes… even a snake show.

SPEECHES

If you need kids to stay seated during the speeches, give each child a small activity pack.
Quiet activities are best and should need very little adult supervision. Colouring, puzzles and stickers work well.

WHERE TO SIT THE KIDS AT DINNER TIME

Should kids sit with their parents or at their own table? Both options work, but each comes with pros and cons.

Kids’ Table

Kids’ tables are fun, help them feel independent, and give adults a break. But for this to work, most children need to be at least eight. Younger ones may need help staying seated or eating.

If younger children are sitting at the kids’ table, hire a couple of helpers to supervise. They can keep it fun and keep behaviour in check. Parents often appreciate the break.

Kids Sitting With Parents

If a kids’ table doesn’t appeal, group families with children of similar ages. At my own wedding, we sat kids with their parents but next to other children, so they had company. It kept them entertained without parents having to walk across the room.

KIDS ON THE DANCE FLOOR

Evening plans depend on the ages of the children. Most kids love the dance floor. They’re happy to throw shapes, chase each other and stay up past bedtime.

If you’d like to give parents a chance to party after their children fall asleep, ask your venue about childcare options. Some venues offer nannies. Others allow you to hire a babysitter. A quiet room with blankets and a movie also works well if the accommodation isn’t on site.

LAST THOUGHTS

When we got married, we already had two children, so our wedding was always going to be a family affair. We invited around fifty children. We hired a bouncy castle, made colouring books for the speeches, and then let them run wild in the meadow.

Our disco was in a barn away from the house, so we hired a nanny once the kids were asleep. Parents could enjoy the party knowing their little ones were safe.

In the end, it’s down to parents to keep their children happy, so don’t stress too much. When my kids were younger and we were wedding guests, my handbag always had toys, snacks, colouring bits and an iPad.