I caught up with Lynn from Lynn Tierney Ceremonies and asked her to share her top five tips for couples who want to run their own wedding ceremony.
You might choose an alternative location where you can’t legally marry, so you can either hire a celebrant (read WHAT IS A WEDDING CELEBRANT? for more on that) or ask a friend or family member to lead the ceremony for you.
Here are Lynn’s tips to help you plan.
1. CHOOSE THE RIGHT PERSON
Pick someone confident enough to stand in front of all your guests.
They need to deliver the ceremony with presence, warmth and credibility.
Even if the vibe is relaxed and natural, they still need a tiny bit of performance in them. Think steady voice, clear delivery and someone who won’t freeze when all eyes turn to them.
2. SHAPE THE SCRIPT TOGETHER
Your ceremony leader will need a script.
You can write it together or give them the freedom to shape it for you.
Lynn starts with a simple questionnaire for each partner, asking about how you met, the proposal, and the moment you knew this relationship was the real thing.
She then meets the couple to talk through the details: your entrance, any readings, music choices, decorations, why you picked the venue and the overall atmosphere you imagine.
This information forms the first draft.
It’s usually long, then she breaks it into clear sections like:
• Welcome and Introduction
• Entrance
• Vows
• Exchange of Rings
• Signing a certificate (if you want one)
• Symbolic ritual
• Closing words
• Exit
Every wedding ceremony is different, but a simple structure helps the day flow.
3. ADD PERSONAL TOUCHES + SYMBOLIC RITUALS
Rituals aren’t essential, but they add meaning to your ceremony. A few options:
Handfasting
You clasp hands while a ribbon or cord is tied around them. It’s an ancient Celtic tradition and perfect for woodland or outdoor ceremonies.
Unity Candle
Two candles lit at the start represent you as individuals. You use them to light a single candle at the end to symbolise unity.
Sand Ceremony
Each person pours a colour of sand into a shared container. It’s popular with blended families because the layers can never be separated.
Wine Quaich
The couple sip wine from a two-handled cup. Each sip represents love in the past, present and future.
Create Your Own Ritual
One couple Lynn worked with made a unity cocktail of rum, champagne and pineapple. She wrote words around the symbolism and they mixed and drank it together.
If a candle or sand doesn’t feel like you, invent something that does.
4. DO A WALK-THROUGH BEFORE THE DAY
A rehearsal helps everything feel calm and clear.
Walk through:
• how each person enters
• where you stand
• where speakers stand
• who plays music
• where your wedding party sit
• your exit plan
• whether you leave to music, readings or confetti
If you have children in the wedding party, a run-through helps them feel settled too.
5. DO YOUR RESEARCH
When you run your own wedding ceremony, you have endless freedom.
Look at ideas, read examples, watch videos, and explore what feels right.
Some couples want something wild and bold. Others want a simple, heartfelt ceremony.
There’s no rulebook, so find what fits you both.
To learn more about Lynn, visit: Lynn Tierney Ceremonies.
For more ideas, check out: SIX WEDDING CEREMONY IDEAS YOU WOULDN’T HAVE THOUGH OF.